I couldn't resist (thanks Ron):
The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird
flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical
treatment immediately:
1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to shit on somebody's windshield
Eddie seemed so smart when he was talking about the Pilgrams. It seems that apparently science isn't his bag. But no matter, he's still the funniest 6' 3" cross-dressing comedian since Uncle Milty.
Check him out in Dressed To Kill, Glorious, and Definite Article. His best works by far. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll want to wear women's undergarments.
Retailers, we are not alone here in Pergatory.
"The eagle never lost so much time, as when
he submitted to learn of the crow. " - William Blake
Another birthday comes and goes. After reaching middle-age and taking a survey of the scenery, I have to say that if I didn't have all these distractions I might actually enjoy being in my forties. Someday when all this passes I'll be sure to look back on these years and marvel at my resiliance.
Here's something weird, Kathy and I went to this winery back in 97 on vacation.
Sad but true.
This is the worst nightmare of every person whose ever worked in the restaurant business. When that scary dishwasher you smoked a joint with 20 years ago, gets out of prison and decides to look you up. It is a truly tragic story and a cautionary tale to those of us who've worked for years right at the edge of society, with people on their way up out of the gutter, and people entering the early stages of the downward spiral of drugs and violence. There are easily a dozen people that I've worked with in the past that would scare the crap out of me if I ran into them on the street. I've seen some pretty 'normal' guys lose their shit and end up in some serious trouble, the ones that were always on the edge back then are truly the most frightening.
edit: For those of you not from Vermont, Jay Peak is a ski resort.
C: Do you have soap that doesn't have any soap in it?
T: I'm sorry, soap without soap in it?
C: Yes, soap without any soap in it.
T: I have lots of soap, but I don't think that I have any that is soap-free.
C: That's a shame it's the only thing that I can use on my body. You should get some.
T: I'll have to look into that . . .
Napolean Dynamite was the hands down favorite costume this year. It's a little weird thinking that ten year olds are into this movie. I've decided that I am offically getting old when I just don't get all the pop culture references in kids costumes. I used to be pretty good at these kinda things, but other then the occasional Darth Vader I'm in the dark. No great costumes this year which is a shame, but we did have record numbers of kids (well over 200) and a record amount of candy was purchased (and much of it eventually consummed) by yours truly.
If you haven't caught the new Battlestar Galactica on the SciFi channel, you're really missing some cool shit. I think it's even better the the Dune series that was on SciFi. It's kinda geeky at first but it will suck you in like a Cronenberg film. Don't say I didn't warn you. You can rent season one at your video store.
So, how've you been? Good, good. Me? Oh fine, just fine. Things have been very stressful around the old ranch these days. Yup, still working too much. No, no still not married. I know fifteen years is a very long time. We barely have time to do all of the things we need to do for the businesses. Oh, yes, you haven't heard? We opened our spa last year, almost exactly a year ago today. It's going o.k., you know gas prices and GWB's economic vodoo has really hurt small business and we're no exception. Yeah, you could say that it's been a very stressful year *laughs*, that's the understatement of the year. I guess I felt like I needed to start posting here again in order to chronicle my life and times. Postarity and all that rot. So here goes.
The rebirth of a blog . . .
Those of you new to this thing should go back and read a few of the older posts (especially Mr. / Mrs. Tourist)
O.K. here it is boys and girls, your chance to tell your worst customer stories. Just hit 'comment' and vent your spleen. I know you have some whoppers to tell (especially you ladies at SLJ) so here's your chance to tell the world, or at least the dozens of people reading this thing . . .
Question of the day:
C: "My husband bought something for me here a couple of years ago, do you still have it?"
Me:" What was it?"
C: "I don't remember? But his brother bought one too, if that helps?"
Me:" Can you be a little more speciific?"
C:"Um . . . well . . . it was really nice . . ." *shrugs*
Enjoy yourselves, ladies and gentlemen, I'm not posting as much as I could because I picked up a stomach virus from one of the filthy bastards (oops, I mean customers) that feels like it came directly from the heart of the Amazon.
So, enjoy yourselves.
Tim
