Best of the "Best of . . ."

Most "top ten albums of the year" lists are pretty boring. Andrew's is never boring and I always find at least one that becomes an instant favorite.

Happy Dumbass New Year!

Because we can't all be brain surgeons.

Everybody poops

O.k let me see if I can tell this story and do it justice.

Woman and small child enter.

Woman wanders the store "oooing and ahhing" about all the "pretty things"

Child stands five feet from the counter and adopts a stance that can only be described as "sumo-like". From the grimace on her face Alison and I quickly deduce that she is taking a dump in her diaper.

The mother, noticing her little shitter from across the room says . . .

and I quote . . .

"Are you pooping?"

"yeeeeesssssssss" comes the pained reply.

"Oh dear, don't push too hard you'll hurt yourself"

Woman turns away and resumes her browsing.

Child starts to look pained and for several agonizing minutes we are transfixed by her efforts.

Mother calls for child to "come and see the pretty things".

Child struggles to walk bow-legged across the store.

Mother attempts to pick up child...............

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

Mother puts down child.

More pooping ensues.

Mother finally picks up the now soiled and screaming toddler and walks out of the store, cooing "did my sweetie take a poop?"

"yeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssss"

Good thing we sell room sprays . . .

Retail Hell

I'm too tired to post a new retail horror story, so you're on your own.